June Bug

Speaking of nuts and the Postal Window:

A little short scene on this week’s Office reminded me of one time I was working as a window clerk at the Post Office. A clerk nicknamed “June Bug” who normally didn’t work the window, but at times, when we where short handed he was to relieve, that was part of his job.

June Bug was a strange person. He love to hit people with spit balls, or rubber band propelled tiny objects. He also had a way saying the improper thing at the wrong, or right time. For instance, if a supervisor threatened to write him up he would grab his crouch and say, “Write this up.” Or maybe the supervisor would threaten to send him home, again he would grab his crouch and say, “Send this home.” He was good at that – picking the right word… he had his own style.

Another one of his favorite expressions at inappropriate times would be “Do you choke your chicken?” Of course that was to the men folks. He seldom spoke to the female postal workers. Although I remember once he had a crush on a rural route carrier and would go out to her route and follow her, I suppose he was stalking her. She complained to management and they spoke to him, which he denied and told them to “stalk this”. He got the message, he quit following her.

One of the times he relieved, his station was next to me. I remember he was waiting on a good looking lady and after he sold her stamps or mailed her package or whatever, she thanked him and he coughed, putting his hand over his mouth, and I heard him very quickly say, with the words running together say, “Igotabigdick-wanttosuckit?”

The lady’s eyes opened and she said, “Pardon me?”

June Bug said he was just coughing, excuse him.

She said, “No, you said something not very nice, would you please say that again.”

June Bug’s face turned red and he said he just coughed.

The lady said she was going to report him but I never heard any more about it.

However, about a week later, another clerk, told me that June Bug said the exact same thing to another good looking female customer and she stormed off.
Was June Bug a Silver-Tongue-Devil or what?

One time June Bug picked up a friend at the Atlanta Airport and after his friend got off the plane he was helping his friend with his baggage and the police surrounded them. The bag he was holding for his friend was loaded with dope. The authorities arrested June Bug and his friend. They were released on bond.

The postmaster fired June Bug for actions unbecoming a Postal Employee. There is an article 14 (I think it is), which states that postal employees must have good moral character and live their lives within local and Federal law. If you go beyond the its limits you can be terminated.

Which June Bug has been guilty of actions unbecoming a Postal Employee long before he was caught with dope, but since the reason cited was his run-in with the law with the dope, the postmaster may have jumped the gun.

Later, June Bug was looking for a job since he had no Postal job. The job he applied for the management called the Postmaster for a reference and the Postmaster told why he fired him.

Uh-oh. Since he was not proven guilty yet, June Bug had grounds to sue the Postmaster, which he did, for $6,000,000. How he and his lawyer came up with the six million figure dollar figure I have no idea.

Before June Bug went to trial somehow his lawyer proved that he knew nothing about his friend bringing in luggage full of dope. The charges were dropped and the Postal Service gave him his job back. I don’t think he got six million bucks in the bargain, probably much to his lawyer’s disappointment.

June Bug’s father was a station manager at the Post Office before he retired. His father stopped one of my ex-co-workers on the street one day and asked how his son was doing. My co-worker told him if he was his son’s supervisor he would have to fire him.

His father died a few weeks ago. I suspect the body will be turning reguarly.