The Invisible Man Frets Over Being Invisible

One of the things I find irritating when I am around people is that it seems I am invisible more than I am visible.

I don't like to be noticed and I don't like being ignored. OK, I admit that is a doubled-edged sword. I think what it is I don't like being noticed by a large group of people. I am more comfortable in a one to one situation.

Having said that, at this very moment I am putting on a show for several hundred people and I don't mind it at all.... maybe because I don't see them and they don't see me.

I remember one time I approached my first cousin Ray at a Hunter Reunion and addressed him by name and asked how he was doing. He said fine and said, "And who are you?"

I told him. And he told me it was nice meeting me.

I told him we have talked face to face five or six times before through the years. He told me I was wrong he had never seen me in his life. I knew his yankee accented voice, I knew his demeanor, and his bigness. He was a big guy. The fact is that I just too bland to stand out.

Plain people get ignored a lot.

Now, what is really irritating to me is for someone to ask to borrow a couple of bucks and forget to pay me back. I don't think that the person intentionally does not pay me back I think once he gets my money I am pushed back away from his on-line memory.... it has happened more than once. As a matter of fact twice. Once in about 1957 and again in 2009... is there no end?

I just wanted to mention it, not that it matters, one way or the other...I just wanted to get it off my chest and at the same time chalk up another blog post.

More Wants More

I just read a quote Keith Richards said when he was 62: “Getting old is fascinating. The older you get the older you want to get.”

That got me thinking about other things you want more of. Apparently, the more money you get the more you want…or the richer you get the richer you want - think of greedy C.E.O.s. And of course there are more examples such as powerful politicians who want more more, and more and more.

But I have never heard of anybody of a poor person wanting to be more poor.

On this Date "My Fair Lady"

On this date in 1976* “My Fair Lady” opened at St. James Theater in New York City and had 384 performances.

I didn’t see the play but did see the movie starring Rex Harrison and Audrey Hepburn. I don’t remember much about it, but pretty much got the idea. It was about a professor of phonetics saying he take any wench out of the slums of London and turn her into a proper speaking lady with just a little training…. And I think there might have been a wager involved to make it more interesting… and probably their relationship developed into a romance, which even made it more interesting.

I only remember one line, which impressed me. Eliza Doolittle’s (Audrey Hepburn) father Alfred wanted some quick cash money for the professor to teach his daughter how to speak properly.

Henry Higgins (Rex Harrison) said something like, “Good God man! Don’t you have any morals?”

And Alfred Doolittle said, “Morals? What’s that? – never mind! I can’t afford them!”

That is a complicated statement - just think about it.

*originally it first premiered on Broadway March 15, 1956, with Julie Andrews playing Eliza Doolittle.

Sunday Morning Sermon

I read someplace that the definition of a gentleman is a person that tries to make another person feel comfortable physically and mentally.

That reminds me of the play we saw the other night, A MAN OF ALL SEASONS. There were too Mister Meanies in the play, Thomas Cromwell, sort of a prosecuting attorney, and Signor Chapuys, which I think was a representative of the Spanish royalty.

Both Cromwell and Chapuys were evil out to harm their adversaries – but they were very charming and gentlemanly about it….. like politicians.

You Know

This is not the case that “if anyone knows, Moe Knows.” We are talking about YOU. You know.

You might ask “What do I know?”

You know it all. And I do too, because to you, I am a YOU too.

Every day on TV when I see a news event being reported and the reporter is interviewing a witness to the event and the reporter ask him what kind of get a-way car was used, I bet 9 out of 10 times the witness will start off by saying, “You know….”.

Or, if they are asked what do they think about a certain issue, there is a big chance they will start off by saying, “You know…”

Well, if we already know, why does the reporter bother to ask them? They could pivot away from the action scene and present his hands to us the TV audience and say, “You know.”

And we could nod and say, “I know.”

The other morning on The Today Show a famous female singer was being interviewed – I would tell you her name, but I honestly don’t know – but you know. While being interviewed she used “You know..” several times.

When they asked her to sing, she sung something that went something like this: “Doncha Know, doncha know, doncha know I love you.”

I am thinking up an outline for a book that I plan to write and publish which I am sure will be a run-away best seller. The name of it will be YOU KNOW.

YOU KNOW will be like reading about your favorite person - you!

Maybe one of the first chapters will start something like, “Remember your first day in school? Remember what happened? You know.” – then I will just step aside and let the reader fill in the rest with what he knows.

And the other chapters will be very similar – well, you know.

I am thinking about having something reflective, like a mirror, on the cover in the front under the title so that it will reflect the reader’s favorite hero – him or herself.

I can’t go wrong!

Bumper Sticker

Bumper Sticker on the back window of a pickup truck:

If It Has Tits or Wheels You Will Have Problems.

Early Christmas Present of 4.9 Million

Well, maybe not an actual 4.9 million dollars before Christmas but the promise of that amount soon…. Which I suppose is nice Christmas present too – not the kind to carry back for an exchange.

Tami, of Woodstock, Georgia, is the whistle blower that will get the 4.9 million as a reward for turning in Saint Joseph Hospital in Atlanta for jilting the Medicare system out of millions of dollars. When, she as an employee of the hospital, noticed the fraud and complained, they told her not to complain. She did. Good for her!

Saint Joseph Hospital has agreed to pay out as a settlement $26 million.

I think milking the system should carry a harsher penalty and even jail time for those who engineered the fraud because not only are they robbing the present system but are also causing the system to run dry of funds on down the road.

However, I am not sure rewarding whistle blowers such huge amounts is a good idea either. That 4.9 million will also milk the system.

If this continues a new breed of greedy whistle blowers may develop. And people will blow the whistle not because they feel it is their civic duty but because of greed.

The greedy blowing the whistle on the greedy? My my.

Sunday Morning Pulpit

The Joy of Getting.

My sister is a charitable person. She has always belonged to organizations that helped the needy.

This year she has a “want” list of a particular needy child. She is to pick and choose what she wants to get this child so he or she can open it Christmas morning.

At the top of the as top priority the child picked some kind of hand-held electronic gizmo like a Play Station. This item is very expensive and something the benefactor would never consider for herself.

Christmas is a time for giving. But by default it is also a time for getting. For every gift given, somebody has the obligation of receiving – or as the old worn-out joke states, “Somebody has to do it.”

Think of receiving a gift as a public service.

Things You Are Likely to Remember Much Later

I enjoy reading. I also enjoy watching TV. I do my share of both. Both are relaxing, sometimes educational, and enjoyable.

HOWEVER!!! Thirty-three years from now when I am ninety-nine what will I be more likely to remember – sitting on my ass reading a book or watching something on TV or a trip or some kind of adventure?

Judging by what I remember 33 years ago, when I also read and watched TV I do not recall a single time I was seated reading or fixed on a TV program – the times all blend in. However, I do remember all the “what a fine messes I got myself into” and our travels.

Poetry Not Suiting the Occasion

This is my 1300th post for this blog. That sure was a lot about nothing! So, to continue the tradition:

Sometimes a poem has good intentions but misses the point.

Back when I was at Waterman Street Grammar School in the late 1940s I remember the kids restrooms were in the dark huge scary basement. The boys were on one side and the girls were on the other side. In between were scary dark corridors.

In the boys’ restroom was a long trough that the boys would urinate onto a cement wall which the pee would flow down into a trough. The more talented boys would have pissing contests to see how high up on the wall they could go. Archie was the leader. Archie was the shy type that when called upon to read something aloud, his face would turn red. But he didn’t mind whipping it out and pissing up the side of a cement wall.

There was also a row of stalls for bowel movements. The doors were removed. I remember in one stall, I think the 2nd one from the urinal trough, was a little handwritten plagiarized poem:

Here I sit broken hearted,
I paid a nickel,
And only farted.

That poem tells a lot. For instance it tells the price of things those days. A nickel for the use of a stall. I don’t think you have to pay anything now, I think charging was ruled unconstitutional. But before it was declared unconstitutional I think you had to fork over a quarter or maybe even more.

And the fact the little boy, grammar school age, probably thought the same neat poem was witty and fitted the occasion for any bathroom stall, even ones that don’t have doors.

For Every Solution There Is A New Problem

We have read that two things will certainly change the subject when a dog is behaving in a way we don’t want. One is rattling a Coke can with pebbles in it. Willow can not stand that racket and dashes away, wishing she had hands to hold against her ears. Another thing is a water gun. While she is being naughty, so to speak, squirt her with a water gun and she retreats and gets herself out of shooting range.

When Anna comes home from work Willow gets so excited she get uncontrollable jumping on Anna, almost knocking her down and also scratching her arms. Solutions: can of pebbles or a water gun. It has worked every time.

The past two times I have cut grass with the riding lawnmower Willow has got ahead of me and ran backwards, being very close to the machine… one slip up and she will be one blended dog.

I decided to have a water gun on my person the next time I rode the mower, ready to blast her with a squirt. I hid the water gun in my pants and when Willow got in front of the moving mower I carefully and slowly pulled out my gun.

Willow saw what I up to and dashed away and kept her distance… which is good – it kept her away while I was cutting the grass. I am mildly surpised she recognized the water gun.

But I was thinking, riding the riding lawnmower or any other time you need the water gun handy if you have to go get the water gun and loaded it with water it loses its effect. So, I was thinking I need some kind of holster.

Then I was thinking to keep it cheap I would have to buy one (water gun holster) at Wal-Mart – which is meant for kids, so it probably would not fit around me, so I would have to wear it like a shoulder holster. Then – what if I forget it is there and go to the Post Office or Krogers and there I am seen wearing a plastic belt & holster around my shoulder? Would I be looked on as a nut?

Worms

Boy, am I popular or what?

I just received my 3rd notification in two days that Bell South Email as intercepted a virus by the name Storm Worm. Each email had a strange name, such as “ecard from a friend”.

It appears that the three (so far) are from three different sources.

I am not sure I should be mad somebody is trying to do my computer harm or gleeful because someone is noticing me.

Protecting Our Interest

Recently I heard somebody say we should be in Iraq to protect our interests.

If that is true, that our troops can and should protect our monetary interests in other countries, does that give other countries the same right – to protect their interests abroad?

The reason I ask that is that I read somewhere that the U.S. is selling bonds to help pay for the Iraq war and their biggest customers are China and Japan. So, if that is true, China and Japan, by buying U.S. bonds, have a big monetary interest in the United States. If I remember correctly, stock holders own and they get what is left after the people who bought bonds in the company have been paid. So, it would be to these countries’ interest to see that the U.S. can afford to pay them back. How would they do that? To make sure the U.S. is ran more efficient.

Japan and China might want to come in with their troops and oversee and protect their interests more – maybe a good whap with a rifle butt will make that Postal clerk come out of the break room and get back to work or a shiny bayonet poking the ribs of another Federal worker looking out the window would snap him out of his daydream.

Speaking My Opinion

Strike by Attrition

Today on NPR I heard a knowledge person talk about the coal industry. Unless something is figured out we are going to have a big energy shortage not too far in the future.

Coal. Although coal is rarely seen these days it is a much needed product to keep a lot of things running or heated.

Coal miners, or the lack of, is the problem. Nobody wants to be a coal miner anymore. It is dangerous down in those tunnels – explosions, cave-ins, and if you get through all that black lung disease will probably get you.

The young people don’t want any part of it. Who can blame them? The average coal mine worker is in his late 50s. Once the current coal mine workers die, retire, or get killed there will be no one to replace them.

The strike for better conditions and pay will not be marching on a picket line. They will just leave by attrition and not return. The company will have to offer better incentives for the younger work force to consider being coal miners as a career.

OR

Since the American present day work force is not willing to work in the mines there are the immigrants who will probably consider it – then more Americans will get mad at immigrants for taking American jobs.

You can’t win.

Sunday Morning Coming Down

There is a song by Kris Kristofferson about Sunday morning. He wakes up with a hangover and smells fried chicken being cooked next door, hears people leaving for church and things like that. I thought of that, now it will torment me all day… I think the words “Never thought of dying” is in it…. If not, it should be – but those words will play and replay off and on all day and by the time I move to another song I will have thought of dying.

Surely there is not much to dying. Just one minute you are and the next minute you an’t. Poof! Never more.

And will there be an afterlife? If there is an afterlife that new segment you are entering should be interesting.

Is there a Heaven and Hell? Or was that just something thought up to keep the bad people who can be bought in line?

I think I rather think about the smell of the neighbor’s fried chicken being cooked - now that is something I can sink my teeth into.

Distributing Good and Bad Luck

Suppose you receive an email with a list of good positive things on it and at the bottom of it you are told to forward this to at least five people in the next five minutes you will have something nice happen to you or you will instantly come into a lot of money. However, if you don’t, something bad will happen to you.

Really! I have seen this type of email more than once from friends and relatives. I usually forward one with “undisclosed recipient” back to the sender.

That type of email sometimes has a testimony of someone who did as instructed and “it really worked” they will squeal.

If you are to believe that really works then you must also believe that bad luck will come to the person if they fail not to do as the email suggests.

If you believe it and forward it aren’t you putting your friends/relatives in jeopardy for your own gain? You are forwarding it because you were promised something good. And a person you forward it to, what if as soon as that person reads it their provider goes down for a few hours or their computer goes down or many other reasons they would not be able to forward it to at least 5 people in the next 5 minutes.

That same day if one of the people you forwarded it to has an accident and is sent to the hospital and has to have all kinds of operations and the unlucky person doesn't have health insurance do you think maybe you are indirectly responsible?

But What Have You Done For Us Lately?

It seems around every Labor Day big companies announce big lay offs. Intel, Radio
Shack, and Home Depot announced big lay offs in the near future.

The timing I think probably has something to do with the calendar, rather than any thing to do with a remembrance and appreciation of this country’s labor force. I think lay-offs are probably the last surge of cost cuts to make the profits to look good.

But it sure seems ironic; the holiday that is meant to show the working man how much we appreciate him for making this country’s enterprise so strong is also the time he could get the ax.

The Pleasure Is All Our's

Tomorrow we are to attend a cousin’s son and daughter-in-law’s baby shower.

Last week we spent hours in Babies R Us carefull checking over many of the items on the registered list and finally bought a thing like a stroller frame that you put the car seat into, which wasn’t cheap for someone we don’t know that well.

Last year or the year before the cousin gave them a wedding shower which we attended and brought a gift.

I have been told all my life that it is a better pleasure to give than to receive.

I feel like a selfish pig.

Youth Is Wasted On the Young

A clever worded quote a friend emailed me yesterday:

“Youth is wasted on the young”.

I disagree.

I think youth is right where it should be, with the young. When you gain age and experience you learn things for self-preservation. You take your medicine and you don’t skid your body on pavement with shorts on. It might hurt you, you learned the hard way.

But that is partly the fun of youth - not using your common sense and taking a few chances. And most the time the fun outweighs the pain.

It comes down to we, the aged, are afraid we might get hurt…. What fun is youth with that attitude?

Relax and Pretend to Fly

Nervous? High strung? Just can't get to sleep?

I found it is totally relaxing to go GoogleEarth.com and pick an area you know and go to it and just sail around like a lazy buzzard enjoying the wind and try to recognize things from a high height that you know from ground level.

See ya! Here comes an updraft!