SUNDAY FUNNIES!! FRONTLINE COMBAT, CAESAR AT EASTER

Cover art Harvey Kurtzman

Story by Harvey Kurtzman, Will Shakespear,and  History, and story art by Wally Wood.

I thought this Caesar business would mean around Easter.  But in carefully reading the story as I assembled the pages in order I see it is about The Ides of  March.  I should have ran it on or near March the 15th.

My Bad!

Bringing the Church to You

Since most people who might want to go to church but can't and keep with the Six Feet Social Rule, I thought I would bring the Church to you.  This is Saint Patrick's Cathedral on 5th Avenue right across from NBC.  We paid them a visit in December 1918.  So hear you are, you will have to make up your own sermon.

Don't forget the collection plate on your way.

click on each image to make it overwhelming.

I Admire His Watchers

Division Officer Chet

The man sitting behind he desk was our division officer.  He enlisted as an enlisted man and because of his intelligence he got into a special program which made him and officer.  At the time this picture was taken he had been in the Navy about 20 years.  At the time he was probably doodling penises.  True, he drew a lot of circumcised penises.  It was penises just on a page, his penises fitted in a joke cartoon of some kind.  The one that stands out in my memory was a very sexy woman with nothing on but an apron pouring water with one of those water buckets with a snout with holes in the end and she was watering a row of penises sticking up in a garden.   He was not gay, he had a household full of children – Three, maybe more.

He was fascinated with our single life and went out with us a few times to beach bars to pick up girls.  We gave ourselves unique positions,  we, the enlisted, were suave Naval officers, and our division Officer was an enlisted swabbie.  He even addressed us as “Sir” during our trolling.

In the office, whenever the CO dropped in for a chat with him as he entered he tossed his golden braided hat onto the hat rack and say “As you were” as we snapped to attention.  He and our division officer would go back to the real officer’s office and talk.  He would get behind the disk and the CO world sit down in a chair facing him.  Then, my coworker Don and I would stand near the door and make faces behind the CO’s back that our division officer could see but not the CO – he our man had to keep a straight face.  A few times, Don, a little bit more daring than me, would put the CO’s hat and make faces.

As soon as the CO retrieved his hat and left we all cracked up laughing.

Within a couple years after Don and I left the Navy our division officer resigned too.  We made civilian life look like too much fun to him.  He and his family moved to Tampa and he could not find a job.  So, he, leaving his family back in Florida, until he called for them, came to Marietta and moved in with us and looked for a job.

One night he and I went out drinking.  We popped in and out several popular bars.  I remember on West Peachtree Street in Atlanta suddenly he had to use the bathroom, take a dump.  I sped towards a service station blocks ahead and got behind a line of slow moving cars, only about two blocks from the lights of the Gulf or Shell service station.  He said he couldn’t hold it that long.  So, he got out and ran to the service station.  I thought to myself when he first took over our office as a division officer he was sort of strict and impersonal, never would I think our relationship would come to this, me watching him run down West Peachtree, having to shit.

He had no luck finding a job, but looking for a job inspired him to create a local (Metro Atlanta) magazine  that carried only want ads for jobs.  He sent for his family and I think he got rich. 

I have not seen his magazine on the magazine rack in a couple of years so I don’t know what he is doing now.

NAS LAKEHURST, Back Streets

This a scene on the base of NAS Lakehurst.  You can see the building the theater is in, and the geedunk is in the basement, the chow hall and ever the giant hangar.

What you don't see there is a good story:

Just out of sight, beyond the tree is the EM Club where we spend many evenings at Happy Hour solving the world's problems.  After so long we invited Mary the Wave join our clique of drunks, we hated to see one drink alone.  With a few beers under her belt Mary the Wave became talkative, profound, philosopher, and could drink any of us under the table.  She also told us she preferred women over men.  Well, so do we!  Then, after that jokingly we would say "check out those boobs" on a new arrival in the EM Club and Mary the Wave would say something like "Not bad, I'll race you for her."  and so on.  Mary the Wave also had a sense of humor.

One evening, I and most the others had duty.  That left Don and Mary the Wave drinking beer at the EM Club, just the two of  them.  They were talking philosophy.  Mary had to go take a dump but did not want to break their conversation so insisted Don go with her to the women's head.

She got into one stall and grunted away, between sentences and Don was sitting in the next stall making comments.

When they left just outside the door was a SP standing with his arm folded patiently waiting.

He told them to come with him.  He took them outside and put them in the back of a gray SP van.  Then he drove off but he did not turn to go to the SP office at the gate but headed out towards the air strip. 

He pulled over and told Don to drive and he got into he back with Mary the Wave.  As Don drove he could hear grunts and Mary cursing and calling the guy names. 

Finally Don pulled on the runway for the Naval jets that flew in and out.  He pulled in the middle and got out and started walking.  As he walked away he could still hear Mary curse the SP and the vehicle was rocking.

Soon Don saw two or three SP vehicles with their lights flashing rush from different directions and surrounded Mary the Wave and the undressed SP.

No report was made of the incident.

John Prine R.I.P.

John Prine died yesterday of the VIRUS.  He wrote many great songs about the plight of the working man, like the songs by Woody Guthrie..

Our Claim to Fame, Plains, Georgia, a week after the 1976 Presidential Election

The weekend  after the 1976 General Election we left our 11 month old son with his grandparents and headed for Plaine, Ga, to see for ourselves what Plains was really like.

Years later Robeerrt Buccellato was putting together a book about Jimmy Carter's Plains, Ga. for Arcadia Press named JIMMY CARTER IN PLAINS, THE PRESIDENTIAL HOMETOWN and asked my permission to use some of my pictures.  I drove a hard bargain.  Bobby had to give me credit by name.  He did.

Note:   As usual if you click on the picture it will get bigger.

The Book

Me, Bobby Buccellato, and Charles Plant (other photographer) signing Plains book at Carter Presidential Center in Atlanta.

The block Jimmy Carter's house is on.

Miss Lillian Carter

At one time she was a Peace Corps nurse.  I observed her several times getting nervous when someone wanted to hug her.  She flatly, without apology, didn't do that.  She would be a good spokesperson for today's epidemic. 

Billy Carter in jacket.

The Helicopter Hangars at NAS LAKEHURST, NJ

There are more hangars at NAS LAKEHURST but those are the 3 we saw daily.  The last one on the right is the one we shared with HU-2 Squadron.  We had the left side and they had the right.  On the sides are office spaces going up two or three levels.   That was was where I hung out at.  I might get my hands greasy if I worked down on the floor or in the building (not in this picture),

The big hangar on the left is of course where German's Hinderburg blimp blew up in 1937/

Me

I am standing just out side of the huge doors of the huge hangar at NAS Lakehurst, New Jersey.  About where the German's Hinderburg exploded in May 1939, except the explosion appeared to be about 50 feet up.   Some people believe  that one's spirit remains in the very spot its life was ended.  If that is true, about 100 invisible spirits were in turmoil just above me when this picture was taken in 1963.

Brandy and her Fall

I am digitizing some select photos before I had a digital camera.   These are my dog Brandy.  1991.  When our add-on den was being built in 1991 she was wrestling with Stormy,  on the raw unfinished floor with the neighbor’s dog, about the same size and they had the misfortune of rolling  off the floor (no wall yet) onto the ground, which was equal to about the height one floor level.  Then she let out a yep but went on playing.  About ten years later she started limping, then she couldn’t walk.  I think the fall had she taken with Stormy came back to haunt her.

SUNDAY FUNNIES!! MAD#7"s SHERLOCK HOLMES

I thought to myself:  :You cannot go wrong with Sherlock Holmes, everybody loves a good detective story like the Bobtsy Twins, The Hardy Boys, or Sherlock Holmes.  Or do they?  There is very sex or sexual innuendos... it is just "who did it?"  When I was thinking of what to write about Sherlock Holmes, it occurred to me, in modern literature Dr. Watson was the fist straight man.

The art for the comicbook cover was done by the MAD editor who also wrote the story.  And Will Elder did the rest of the art.  Click on images to make them bigger and maybe understandable.
Cheerio!

Toms River

Toms River, New Jersey, was/is a few miles east of the Navy base.  It is about half way the base and the ocean.  What attracted our little bunch to Toms River was the library.  There was a library on base which was just a big room on the floor above the movie theater, but Toms River had a nice big library.  We were a literate bunch of snobs and/or slobs.

Also, only about two blocks from the library was the above scene I took.  To me, it is peaceful scene; an eye-pleaser.  .But it was not an ear-pleaser the day I took it.  These are seagoing vessels.  The water the boats were floating on was a pathway to the ocean.  As I was walking around aiming my camera, trying to get the best shot a man bounded out of one of the boats and told me to "get the fuck out of here!"  Which I immediately did.  I didn't think putting up an argument would be very healthy.

Also what is not shown right behind me is a deep fried crab sandwich stand, not that it matters.

Lakewood, NJ, Criminals, and Chicken Farming

This is near the entrance of the Laurel of the Pines Country Club, Lakewood, New Jersey, under five or six miles to our Naval Base.  This place intrigued us because we could not get in.  Was it a Mafia hangout or what?  We will never know (not that it is any of our business).

There is one movie theater in Lakewood.  It is on the Main Street.  We went there often.  And of course we were drawn to the two bars on the small side street that came up beside the theater.  Unsavory characters hung out at both bars.  One bar we named BAR X and the other we named BAR Z.  In BAR X was a motherly looking lady who looked a lot like Aunt Jamami had a favorite song she sung to patrons, preferably close face to face whispering, I don't know the name of it but the words went something like this:

Play with my Box,

And I'll suck your Cock.

I know, I know, Box an Cock do not rhyme exactly, but the poetic thought was there anyway.

Speaking of bars in and around Lakewood.  Between Lakewood and Lakehurst was a roadside bar. It was non pretentious that working people went to.  I was on the way to see a movie in Lakewood, alone, and decided to stop for a drink.  Then, most bars had had video juke boxes.  You put in coins and select what music you want to see and here.  You will see mostly bands playing.  This bar had a video juke box and some couples were out on the floor dancing.  I sat at the bar next to a woman and her husband.  During small talk I learned it was their wedding anniversary.  Her husband was a chicken farmer.  She was crying, she wanted to dance.  Her husband was quiet, tall, wearing a ball cap and not attentive to her wants at all.  With a smile I asked him why didn't he dance with his wife.  He ignored me, no comment.  Thinking because of the loud music he may not have heard me, I asked him again.  He suddenly, on his bar stool spinned around and face me and said, "You dance with her Butterball!"

I laughed.  He repeated his demand and added: "NOW!"

I told told them I had to go to the restroom, and left them, with me smiling.

Instead of turning for the restrooms I went straight, hit the parking lot running and got in my car and drove away. 

Back then, mid 1960s. there were plenty of chicken farms between NAS Lakehurst and Lakewood, NJ.  Maybe too many.  I know of one that apparently went under.  They had a chicken house for rent.  Some friends in the squadron decided to put up the money and move in.  I think they probably bought used furniture and signed up for "Conrats" and moved in.  One night Donald Lash paid them a visit.  And another friend who did not live there visited the same time with his date.  I don't know the details but I think the visitors became too drunk to drive so the visitors spend the night on the floor.  In the middle of the night Don heard a noise that woke him up and by the moon light she saw  one of his friends over the passed out girl rubbing his penis all over her and she did not know a thing.  I think more than one guy anticipated.   

Which reminds me beside the city limits sign of lakewood was a sign that said all criminals must register.  Interesting, is it that the only law you are breaking is not admitting you were a criminal, which makes you a criminal.  I wonder if they count childhood pranks or dry humping a sleeping beauty?

Rocky & Adam visit the haunts of John Ray

I took this picture of my sons Rocky and Adam in 1990. They are standing beside the weathered out-building on what was their great-g-g-grandfather John's Ray property in the Burningtown Community of Macon County, NC..

Lakehurst, New Jersey 08733

This is Main Street downtown Lakehursr, New Jersey.  The Zip code used to be 08733.  I suppose it still is, they did not like changes.

As I remember there were about 5 bars, a few houses, and a laundry.  Instead of doing our own laundry we mostly had the is laundry  do it.  It was a middle age couple and their two flirty early 20s daughters.  In the evenings the two girls kept there wheels rolling up and down the street, in case some poor Navy person needed a ride or something.

Their parents had an accent and they had tattooed numbers on their wrists.  That meant they were concentration camp survivors. 

April Fool, Fool!

HAPPY APRIL FOOL'S DAY FOOL!