The Butcher, the Suave Man of Mystery

As usual on Wednesday, yesterday I went shopping at Krogers and Plubix grocery stores armed with coupons and a smile on my face to get my 5% Senior Discount at both stores.

Krogers carry certain items that Publix doesn’t carry, and visa versa.

Each time I go to Krogers there is a butcher there that looks very dignified. He is slim, stark white pretty hair and a matching white beard. He wears his white butcher smock in a distinguish manner as an Admiral or a wartime Commodore might. He is also graceful as he walks, he is a man of mystery.

He is usually the one talking to a customer. I have overheard him telling customers what he would do with a certain cut of meat to bring out the favor – you know he knows what he is talking about.

One Wednesday a couple of months ago it occurred to me that his stark white butcher smock is always stark white… no smudges, no blood stains or smears like the other three or four people that work in that department.

How could he get his smock dirty, he is always talking to the customers? – besides, it might take away from his charm if he had red stains on that smock – it might insinuate he was tangled up in raw meat and guts earlier – which would take away from his dignified appearance. Image is everything.

When I went to check out I filled the conveyor belt with all I bought while the cashier was ringing up another customer. I carefully placed the frozen foods together, with the hopes the person sacking the groceries would also keep them together, and any coupon that called for two items, I saw that the two items were side by side.

Then behind me stood a man, younger than me, with about 3 items in his hand. I looked around and down the cashiers line the “20 Items or less” cashier was leaning against something smiling and talking to the sack person of that line, in other words, she needed some work…. Why didn’t the guy carry his 3 items down there?

Then, an elderly woman came up behind him with an armful – maybe she was trying to juggle 5 or 6 items. Why didn’t she go down to the unbusy cashier also? And besides, why didn’t she have a buggy or at least one of those little baskets? Idiots!

Politely, I told the two people to go ahead of me. They both seemed very appreciative and gave me sincere thanks.

When it got to be my turn the cashier told me, “I saw what you did, allowing those two people ahead of you – that was so nice of you.”

I shrugged. I was about to tell her I was just going by the Golden Rule but it occurred to me you can’t get self-righteous by preaching the Golden Rule because if I did I would be breaking it as I preached it. Because I don’t want any Bible thumpers preach things out of the Bible to me.

Humans and Computers

A lot of people, mostly elderly, do not want anything to do with computers, electronics, or anything with a bar code or has digital numbers lit up.

They feel human contact is more reliable. I agree on some occasions I had rather explain my needs to a human than narrowing down my wants on a touch-tone phone by touching numbers – first let get your language out of the way, press 1 for English, 2 for Spanish., 3 for Gitchi.

A friend, who is married to a Pilipino, thought his grocery bill was higher than usual the other day and compared the cash registered ticket-tape to all the items they bought. All the bar coded items checked out. He found they were charged $15.03 for one taro root (Asian sweet potato), which was listed as $6.99 a pound instead of the .69 a pound it was suppose to be. That was a human error. He got his refund.

At Krogers the same day he overpaid for the taro root when my stuff was being rung up at Krogers the lady before me came back with her ticker-tape receipt saying something was suppose to be buy one and get one free and it didn’t ring up that way. The cashier told her to take her receipt over to the Customer Service counter and get a refund. And somebody over heard her behind her waiting on the cashier of the next lane and said that is exactly why she was waiting, so she turned around and went to the Customer Service counter too.

The cashier said that was about the 4th or 5th complaint she had in about an hour. She said some stock person made the mistake of putting “Buy One and Get One Free” sign at the wrong product, and naturally people bought the wrong product thinking they would get one free, which they are, if they go through the service counter. She cashier said it seemed it would be easier and cheaper to just go back and move the sign to the product it should be at.

But they didn’t.

We will count that not as human error but as human laziness.

Coupons - The Winning Formula

This morning in Uncle John’s Bathroom Reader I read that only 6% of coupons are used by consumers.

I don’t know but I bet that the companies who put out these coupons have to allow enough of a profit margin to pay 100% of the coupon redeemers, not just the 6%.

Naturally, based on statistics the companies know that only 6% will use their coupons which will make their profit margin even wider than they can officially foresee. Which such an unexpected profit margin, I’m sure the CEOs get big annual bonuses for raking in the profits.

And not only that but some grocery stores, such as Krogers most the time, double their coupons, and that means they have to allow a profit margin as if 100% of their customers will use the coupons, and then they only have to pay out to the 6% coupon users, they win too.

Everybody Wins! Except the 94% of consumers that don’t use coupons, they are paying for it.

More Mall Rats

From time to time I see a new face and if I see that new face again, in a new environment or situation, I remember them… I think. Of course, if I forgot them, I would have no proof I remember them… anyway, as I was saying:

Two weeks ago at Town Center Mall I was to meet Anna outside Vitamin World. I was sitting where I was suppose to and in front of me was a rack of little red strollers that looked like little sport cars with a big handle on the back for Mama to push the babe.

After a while of sitting I figured out by watching the people do business with the rack that held the little sports car strollers that a parent would pay $5 to rent the stroller. And when and if they brought the stroller back and shove it in the rack on a little track they would get one dollar refunded to them. Actually the stroller rent was only $4 if one took advantage of their bribe to return the stroller, or instead of a bribe, I guess it is a deposit.

This one rather big brute with two brute looking women and a gang of kids came to return their stroller. They were all eating ice cream and the ice cream was melting over the little red sports car stroller their kid was in. The three grown up could not figure out how to shove the little red vehicle into the rack on the track for it to register the click to deposit their dollar. They tried and tried. The did it forceful, they did it gentle, each one tried it. It reminded me of a group of Neanderthals trying to make a machine do its magic.

I don’t know if they ever got their dollar back or not. Anna showed up and we went off. I do know, if they left the little red stroller there, the next kid in it would be stuck to the seats because of the ice cream that it had to sit in.

The following Wednesday at Krogers I saw the same family. The big crude little brute with the jet black hair and his two big women. I wonder if one was his sister or sister-in-law. They kids were all over the place that all three would scream at them to “get back over here!” but was too busy to follow up to see if the kid obeyed their command or not.

I saw them entered the 15 items or less automatic scanning device line where you scan your own groceries. I thought this should be good, about 4 or 5 days before they couldn’t put their little stroller in the right slot to get their deposit.

I had things to buy so I kept on shopping. About 15 minutes later I walked by and they were still looking at the directions above the counter.

I picked up some more stuff then cruised by the magazine rack and flipped through some magazines. A good 10 or 15 minutes. I walked by and they were progressing. They had 3 items on the other side that made it that were scanned. I picked up my frozen foods, which probably took a two to three minutes. I walked by them and they had scanned two more items…. Very slowly… this time they were arguing among themselves about something.

I went to another self-checkout scanner and checked out and I as I was driving away I saw them and their kids leave the grocery store…. I should have hung around to see what kind of car they knew how to drive.

Wednesday continued

I forgot to mention that Wednesday after my doctor’s appointment and getting my Brandi’s Famous vittles to go and after eating those unmentionables grinded up and reshaped into hotdogs, I went shopping at Krogers. Wednesday is Senior 5% Saving Day. I now have to go to a newer Kroger because the older I went to closed down.

I prefer to pick my cashier – some of them, especially the news ones, seemed to get fussy over coupons and such. I picked one that used to be at the old Krogers and transferred to this newer Krogers.

Most of the employees from the old Krogers who transferred most of them came to this one, it is only two miles down the road. But there is one old employee at the old Krogers I haven’t seen. She was a little old woman who was mentally challenged. I always tried to speak to her and she always slapped me on the back and laughed like a wild maniac.

Her and a sacker, also mentally challenged would arrive at Krogers each day by a special county paid for “Twinkie Bus” who transports the mentally challenged to their jobs each day. I think it is a good program.

I haven’t seen her since the old Krogers closed down, so I asked the cashier about her. She said she is at the East Lake Krogers now. She told me that Krogers has a Starbucks and one day she was in there and she saw her sitting in Starbucks alone taking a break. She asked her how did she like her new job and she said she liked it but she didn’t know anybody, she didn’t have any friends.

It is hard being an outsider, and probably even tri-fold harder if you are different from the rest. I mentioned cliques not no ago – I bet she does feel terribly excluded. The cashier almost cried when she told me. I almost cried too.

As I left I noticed the next door Walgreen’s Pharmacy was having flu shots that day. I hurried home and put up the frozen foods and returned to Walgreen’s thinking it would take a few minutes to whip in and get my shot and whip out. Wrong!

I stood in a long line two hours.

Interesting to note a young lady in front of me told me she was seven months pregnant. She was Caucasian. The nurse’s assistant went down the line asking was anyone on Medicare, if so we must fill out a certain form. I raised my hand and so did the young pregnant lady in front of me. Then, the same assistant went by asking if anybody was on Medicaid and the lady in front of me raised her hand again.

She was on Medicare and Medicaid and under 25? She used a very expensive looking cell phone to call her fiancé’ to tell him (at that point) she had to stand in line for another hour and an half. So, she wasn’t married, pregnant and on Medicare and Medicaid. She also had on expensive new clothes. She was very polite and cordial but I bet she knew how to play the system like a violin.

Maybe we can hire her to go through our papers to see just what we are not getting that we are entitle to.

CO Twiddle-Dee & Pvc Twiddle-Dum

Today is Wednesday. It is the day that all us elderly folks leave our rocking chairs, beds, shuffleboards, etc and converge on supermarkets such as Krogers and Publix that offer 5% discount to senior citizens on Wednesdays.

I developed an art of presenting my coupons. The trick is to present the coupons after they have rang up your 5% discount. Otherwise, they will ring deduct your coupons and take the 5% off the net total instead of the gross total. In fact, some company-minded cashiers ask are you sure you don’t have any coupons. Then, after the coupons are deducted you can say “Oh yeah! I forgot about my coupons!” and watch her steam.

But today went good, the 5% was scraped off the top, not down after the coupons.

The weather was very nice with just a slight cool breeze.

And at Krogers I got see the brothers Twiddle-Dee and Twiddle-Dum. I haven’t seen them in months.

They are in their early 20s and I have seen no visible signs of a job. They must get some kind of social security or disability income and squander in their late grandparents’ home.

Today, as always, they had on their Desert Storm fatigues with their pants tucked very militarily into their black boots. Their dress berets were tilted just right.

When I got out of the truck in the new Kroger parking lot I saw them get out of their old raggedy station wagon their grandparents used to drive.

They marched in the store. By the time I got into the store, the youngest, Twiddle-Dum was pulling a grocery cart out of the stacked carts. Twiddle-Dee was patiently waiting. The good military leader he is, he was not going to chew out Twiddle-Dum in front of everybody for pulling the cart out in a clumsy manner. Twiddle-Dee takes care of his men (or man) by chewing them (him) out in private.

Then like soldiers prowling in the jungle with rifles Twiddle-Dum pushed the cart while Twiddle-Dee had his hands behind his back taking big thoughtful steps and occasionally seeing something that would be good chow, and toss it in the cart.

They want to defend our country so bad. They could show ‘em you don’t mess with Uncle Sam. But, I suspect the military wouldn’t take them in a million years, so they will just have to continue to do their war games on their PCs.

Woes of a Shopping Center Emptying

I cut grass yesterday. Afterwards, my neighbor Jim came over with his edger and edged the driveway. As he edges I go behind him and blow the debris. Then, afterwards, as always we catch each other up on the latest gossip, man to man style. Instead of talking over a clothes line we talk while holding yard tools.

Which reminds me, I am not sure cloth lines are allowed now…. You never see them anymore, I suppose that in another example of the yuppie presence influence again.

Jim told me they are closing the Krogers Grocery Store slightly less than two miles away. That is a shame. That is a shame.

There is another Krogers exactly 2 miles in the opposite direction but it just isn’t home. It is bigger and in a more influential area. You will not see a workman with a name-tag sewed above his breast pocket there shopping. The store is designed to appeal to the yuppies, which have the money. It is a matter of economics – cater to the rich and ignore the others.

I know this is just about the same subject as I talked about yesterday. But this is a new development since then.

The shopping center that the closing Krogers is out has mostly empty stores now. A Radio Shack moved out two weeks ago. On one end are two stores an Italian restaurant and an office supply store and in the center is/soon to be “was” Krogers and on the other end is a Judo training place, a dance studio, and Buffalo’s Restaurant. And about 10 or more vacant stores.

After Krogers leave I am afraid it will cause a vacuum. And suck the five or so remaining businesses away.

This shopping center is across from a high school. I suspect after the adult traffic quits then you will see more graffiti, more clusters of kids hanging out, and in general a place to avoid.

About the same thing happened to another shopping center not far away. It emptied itself (their main store was a Winn-Dixie), and gangs hung out there and one night was a gun fight and a kid got killed. The state of Georgia moved in and opened up a drivers license place which took up a good portion of the shopping center and little restaurants and things returned.

Why are all the stores lifting their skirts and running? The shopping center is getting the aged look about it. Or, it doesn’t look modern enough. And it is not that old, they built it ten or so years after we moved to the area. Where the shopping center is used to be a regular size house, like ours, with a swimming pool and a patio in the back, and behind that was a big lake. It was an eye pleaser. But greedy developers had to make a shopping center out of it, it is in their blood… now, they don’t want anything to do with it.

That is progress.

The Continuing Adventures of Twiddledee & Twiddledum

As you may recall the last time we checked in on the Twiddle Brothers Twiddledum has gotten sloppy in his appearances. Before he and his older brother Twiddledee parted company Twiddledum walked behind and in step with his brother, wearing a crew cut, military camouflage fatigues, and pants tucked into his boots.

Then Twiddledum apparently moved in with a 40ish car window representative with an Arby’s and after that he became sloppy. I saw him twice at Krogers with his little short redheaded roomy buying groceries. The Arby window sales representative would carefully check his list and his coupons, carefully getting the most for the money. And Twiddledum had a dirty tee-shirt with food stains all over it and looked like he in the second or third week wearing it, and he looked exhausted. He leaned over the grocery cart as he pushed it.

I wondered what happened to Twiddledee. Did Twiddledum get mad and move in the Arby’s man or did Twiddledum find it lonely in the old house by himself and Twiddledum invited the Arby’s man to move in with him. And if so, where was Twiddledee?

Buried under the house?

Part of the mystery was solved today. The part that Twiddledee was buried under the house or not.

Twiddledee is not buried under the house. He is alive and well.

Today at Krogers I saw Twiddledee and Twiddledum standing beside the old white car their grandparents used to own, getting ready to buy groceries. Twiddledum was again looking neat with a short haircut and clean pressed clothes and his military uniform. As I walked by they was getting a live lily out of the trunk of their car.

Being that it is the day before Easter I would imagine that the lily was designated to be at either their parents’ and/or grandparents’ graves.

A Happy Ending and a good Easter story.

The Twiddle Dum Saga continues – part III.

Remember, the last episode of Twiddle Dum it appears he had separated with his older brother, Twiddle Dee and was living with a male redheaded middle aged fast food server.

And since he was no longer under the critical and demanding eyes of Twiddle Dee he quit dressing so military and dressed in his true nature, a big slob. His attire now is pants hanging on him and a maroon tee-shirt with several food stains on it. I don’t think he had changed since the last time I saw him. His hair is also inconsistent messed up with no rhyme or reason.

Today on the way home from the funeral home after paying my respects to my neighbor’s family (his sister died), I stopped by the grocery store to pick up a few items – today is Wednesday, which means 5% Senior Discount Day, and they used to have bingo on Wednesday mornings for Senior Citizens, but evidently that fell through.

As I was looking for a cashier with not many people waiting, or little in their grocery carts I saw Twiddle Dum doing the same… he was dragging, leaning over his cart, depending on it to carry the bulk of his weight. He looked partly in a sleepy trance.

This time, the middle aged red-headed fast food server was not with him like last time. Did they part company?

Out of curiosity I asked the cashier that waited on me about Twiddle Dee. She said he turned 21 on January the 1st, and he now he can legally buy cigarettes. She said she used to see him and his brother all dressed like militants but now his brother doesn’t come there anymore. Yeah, yeah, I knew that.

I think it was sometime in December when I saw him last, before he was 21. I wonder, if he let the middle age male fast food server live with him because he could buy him smokes? Now that he is 21, he has no need for the fast food server, so kicked him out?

To make things even more interesting, when I left the grocery store and was about a half mile down the main road, I saw the middle-age red head fast food server walking by himself on the sidewalk.

I think there is a kind of story they do movies about with those boys.

Twiddle Dee & Twiddle Dum

On one of my walking routes this morning, about two miles from here I went by a house that I'm sure has some interesting storiess within its walls. The house is occupied by two brothers. They are tall and have huge bellies. One looks to be in his late teens and the other one appears to be in his early twenties.
I think they need adult supervision before they hurt somebody.
I first started noticing the brothers at a local Krogers supermarket in the magazine section. They would always be dressed in military attire with berets and their pants legs neatly tucked down in their boots. At the magazine rack they would be reading military type of magazines, or sometimes gun mags, sometimes video game mags, and they strike as me the type who would be looking at the girly magazines if Krogers carried those.
I noticed they would leave with an elderly couple who did not very well off and they would all get in a dumpy dented-up old car.
My childhood friend Larry worked in the video department at the same Krogers (since then they no longer have a video department). Larry owned his own little one-man business for abut 25 years but had too retire because of illness. He had the Kroger job for health insurance purposes. Larry always knew everything about everybody locally. I asked him what was the story about "those two - Twiddle Dee and Twiddle Dum". Larry shook his head sadly and said it was a sad situation. And he was about to tell me. Then someone wanted to rent a video and according to the computer they still owned money in late dues and it looked like Larry would be bogged down with them a while, so I went to finish my shopping. Just before I left I dropped by so Larry could tell me the two brothers but there was a line of people checking out videos. He told me he would tell me the next time I was in. Larry died before I got to talk to him again.
I continue to see the two brothers at Krogers, but now evidently his grandparents who were evidently their guardians either have died or in a nursing home, or one of each.
One day a year or so ago while riding my bike a big German Shepard came up to a fence and was barking as I pedaled by. I was surprised when one of the Twiddle brothers came out and hollered at the dog to shut-up. And I recognized the old dented up car also. Then, I took notice of their house. It was a dumpy little house with a lot of junk in the front yard with untrimmed bushes and trees, and weeds. They have a high fence surrounding their yard (thank God) and they are surrounded on three sides by huge new houses.
I suppose they are holding out because they would not know where to go if they sold, or maybe one or both their grandparents are in a nursing home and have yet signed it over to them.
They are very scary looking in a gung-ho military kind of way. I noticed they march in-step and never smile or show emotion at Krogers when they do their shopping. They march their cart out to the car to load their groceries. I think they will want to something "military" one day, like make WAR on the yuppies in those big expensive houses?