That Was No Lady - That Was His Wife

Yesterday we went to a doctors’ office. While Anna was inside seeing the doctor I watched an elderly couple bitch and quibble over filling out paper work on a clipboard the lady behind the desk gave the lady to fill out.

I can not imagine how complex it could be or what huge crisis would explode if she didn’t fill out the papers correctly. Several times the lady threw down the pen and shoved the clipboard at her man and shout “you do it!!”

And the old fart would start filling it out and he would have to ask her how to spell something and then she would grab the clipboard and start filling out again, until she panicked over something and shoved it back at him… shouting something angry.

The old gray fart always tried to smooth over his wife’s frustration and high strung anger by making an attempt to be funny…. I heard more clichés in that 20 or 25 minutes than I heard in a long time.

One time the old crone marched up to the desk and asked the lady something and as she walked back she said to her husband, “That woman said she was the same age as I am!” for all of to hear, and she continued – “that means you and her are the same age!”

The old fart said, “I’m 39 and have been many years!”

The woman said, “Are you trying to be like Jack Hope or somebody?”

I wanted to jump up and say, “Don’t you mean Jack Benny or Bob Hope?”

It seemed they were putting on a show for the whole half dozen of us onlookers. It was like they were trying to do stand-up one-liners with a straight man and kept messing up – like Vaudeville. Several times I was a little confused just what they meant or were referring to, so I wanted to hollow over and ask them what she meant when he said the car was still in the creek or something like that.

But I didn’t.

When the nurse from the inner office opened the door smiling and called out the old woman’s name the lady screamed she didn’t have enough time to fill the paper work out the nurse’s smile froze and sternly told her to come with her anyway.

When Anna came out we went to get on the elevator. She did not want to tell the other two people (a middle age daughter and her mother) getting on the elevator what the doctor said, so tried to tell me in a quiet way…. But she was interrupted by the middle age daughter, saying she had the same thing was wrong with her. We strangers discussed the private matter going down.