Saturday, November 30, 2019

Hambone



After all our Thanksgiving devouring and feasting the only thing left standing, or lying, was a hambone.  We wrapped it up for future use.  Like a soup bone or give to a dog or something, hate to see a good hambone go  to waste.

The hambone also brought up the memory  someone I knew at one time, named Hambone.

In 1960 a lot of us that went to Marietta High School went to Daytona Beach the last day of school.  We more of less stayed in trouble, or hot water - a bunch of stories.

The only non Mariettan in with us was a guy we Christianed Hambone because he could slap himself silly making noise sounds playing the song Hambone.   I think he just sort of materialized while hanging out on the beach.  The slapping included slapping his cheeks, forehead, arms, legs, and his opened mouth which made a cork poping sound.

What I didn't know, but do now, the Hambong body music was played widely of people who had rhythm  but not money to buy a music instruments.

When the week was up and time to go back to Marietta Hambone was still with us.  He lived in Chattanooga.  I think he stayed with Monty a few days hanging out with us at Varners, and places.  Then he hitchhiked  north home to Chattanooga.

Be Good or Captain Might Give You a Whipping!






Thursday, November 28, 2019

Thanksgiving Story Retold and Retold Again





Copied and pasted from my Blog November 2013:
My 2nd Thanksgiving Story, which is more memorable:  Back in the early late 1950s or early 1960s a group of friends and I decided to go hunting early on Thanksgiving morning.  Larry Southern knew of a place in White, Georgia, near Cartersville of endless dirt roads.  Our plan was to take turns with two of us riding on the fenders and when we saw a rabbit shoot it.  We have been out on dirt country roads countless times and rabbits would run out in front of us.    Maybe we arrived at the destination about 2am, and proceeded to ride the dirt roads, taking turns at fender duty.  We did not see any rabbits.   We gave up and came upon an abandoned  country unpainted shack.  We built a fire in the fireplace and sat around and talked about life and gossiped.   We were not getting much accomplished , we decided to drive back to Marietta.  Out on the highway going to Cartersville we had a flat tire.  We were driving one of Larry's father's old  junk car somebody traded him for a better car (hopefully).  The old heap had  no spare.  We sat in the car and talked and gossiped some more.   Daylight began to slowly shift in.  When it got light enough that we could see some things around us we saw we were parked across  the road from a house.  Beside the house was a pasture and behind the house was a little hill.  Near the top of the hill was an outhouse, maybe 50 feet from the house.

Larry said he was going to use that outhouse.   We knew he meant it.  He loved to use outhouses.   Monty and Johnny tried to talk him out of it.  He wouldn't listen their reasoning.  He got out of the car and walked beside the house and up the hill.

Something you need to know about Larry:  He was then a shy person.  He would do sneaky things but hoped he would never get caught, it was too embarrassing.   When he did get caught he scratched his forehead  so his hand would cover his face.  We have seen him scratch his forehead more than once.

Larry went into the outhouse and shut the door.  The rest of us  sat there and talked and speculated what would happen if he got caught.

Then I saw a little grey headed matron looking lady walking up hill with some newspapers in her hands.  I told my friends and we were having laughing fits watching each step the lady took.

She opened the door and  dropped her papers..  Out bounded Larry trying to pull up his pants with one hand and scratching his forehead with the other.

He ran down the hill, jumped in the car , started the engine and  we rode off, flat or no flat.

We got down the road a very shot distance but around a bend and out of sight and gave out of gas.  This time we were in front of a service station that sold tires  and gas.  We started to pool our money  to discovered that every one of us was broke.
Somehow I got elected to go to Larry's house, or his parents' house, get his car and his money was hidden in his car, and drive back to White, Georgia.

I hitchhiked back to Marietta.  I lived with my family close to the 41 Hwy, or 4-Lane, as we called it locally.  My last ride carried me as close as two blocks for our house.  I walked into our house.  My family was having Thanksgiving dinner.  Invited  down from Chattanooga was my mother's brother Tom Petty and his wife Mary Jo.  I hurriedly ate, standing up - I was on a mission.  I took my car and drove over to Larry's house and got his car.  Luckily, his parents were not there - I would look awful guilty trying to explain everything to them.  I left my car at Larry's parents and took Larry's car and drove back up the 4-Lane to Cartersville.  That was before the I-75 was built. 

Right after the first street turning off into Cartersville, I gave out of gas.

Back then we ran out of gas a lot.  We did that a lot and just dealt with it as it happen.  It was also a way of life to park on hills with the front aiming down in case we had to push our car off.
I was out of gas with the mission incomplete.   The only thing I knew to do was to start hitchhiking towards White and worry about Larry's car later.  After all, they need the money to get gas and a tire for the heap.   As I was walking backwards on the northbound lane of the US41 with my thumb out I looked over to the southbound lane and there was my four friends walking backwards with their thumbs out.  I hollered and we joined up.

I do not remember the details of what happened next.  We got Larry's car, put gas in it and went back to white and had to walk to the owner of the service station's house to get him to open on Thanksgiving to sell us a tire and some gas.  I think he sold us a used tire for $5 and sold us gas. 


It was something I think I will remember until I can't remember no more.

Wednesday, November 27, 2019

9 to 6 or 10 to 5, but no 9 to 5.





We watched Dolly Parton on her special 50 as a Grand Ole Opry sing 9 to 5.  As a former postal time keeper I say if you come to work at 9 and leave at 5 we would have to dock you for a lunch, either one hour or 30 minutes.  Federal Law says you have to take a lunch before you work 6 hours.

Dolly, change that song to "9 to 5:30!"

Monday, November 25, 2019

Ruthless Delivery System

My Facebook Post yesterday:

We read the other day that Amazon speedy deliveries are causing wrecks and havoc on the roads and streets.  In other words, it appears their delivery system is ruthless, not caring who gets hurt.   

We made a pack then not to add to the problem but the next time we order something from them request that they take their time and be careful... after all, lives are at stake. Then within hours we came across an excellent deal Amazon was offering on some electronic gadgets. We filled out the on-line order form and we had planned  to check the no rush option. Guess what? There is no option. They stated it would be delivered the next day and that was it. No choice on how and when choices. 

The next day is today, it was delivered with 2 hours to spare. They promised by 10pm.

Sunday, November 24, 2019

SUNDAY FUNNIES!! Graham Wilson (1930-2019) RIP


Macabre and gruesome  Cartoonist GrahamWilson died  this past Thursday.  His cartoons for the NATIONAL LAMPOON, PLAYBOY, NEW YORKER, THE REALIST, and others changed the course in cartooning.  His wife Nancy died in March, just months before.  He lived 89 years.


click on cartoon for better reading.


















Saturday, November 23, 2019

Exercise With a Cigar



Because of my crippling sciatic nerve I have returned to PT. I have had only one session so far. 

She demonstrated how to do certain exercises; had me to them; then she gave me a printout of the exercises for me to do at home. I suspect that will be routine. 

Anyway, one of the exercises is interesting: I lay on the table, or floor, and flex my buttocks to clamp them together, sort of. I discovered you cannot clamp your buttocks together without slamming your rectum shut too. 

It reminded me of a strip show at a carnival on the 4-Lane, across the road from Pine Forest Apartments and what would be SAM'S, a bunch of us went to back in the late 1950s or early 1960s.. There were about three girls that came out on stage and danced to music as they stripped. The last was was absolutely the STAR. Not only did she stripped nude with music like the rest but she also lit a cigar, took a few draws and blew out the smoke in the forms puffs of smoke. Then, nude, she threw down the cigar and danced around it. The she squatted down on top it. Then she raised herself up with the cigar firmly standing up erected. Then she took the cigar out and put it back into her mouth and puffed some more smoke. The crowd, mostly us teenage boys, went wild whistling, jeering, and clapping. 

I hope that is not the next exercise the PT will introduce me too.

Friday, November 22, 2019

Small World




Its a small world.  When I first walked into the MT building I saw through a door a PT working on my neighbor's back.  Her name is Sandy, she moved here about a year ago.  I did not know her then, but should have, we are both retired Marietta Postal workers.  After she moved here I saw her and a common friend talking, that also is retired from the Marietta Post Office.  And what makes this world even smaller at the time I was at the PT Anna was at the bank waiting to see a certain officer.  And where she was waiting was a man who introduced himself as Larry.  Larry and Anna stated talking and he found out that Anna's husband is retired from the Marietta Post Office and Anna found out Larry is also retired from the Marietta Post Office.  Wait.  The smallish gets bigger.  Larry finally told his last name, Schuler.  Larry Schuler.  Anna said, "You are also an actor!  True, Larry has played a deputy sheriff in a Georgia town and a hotel desk clerk in both MY COUSIN VINNEY and MISSISSIPPI BURNING.

Wait !it gets smaller again:  After Anna i told her that I googled his name to show Anna his picture.  The only picture that Google pulled up was one I took of Larry at a funeral years ago.





Wednesday, November 20, 2019

Willow's Epitaph



Willow left us September 20, 2019.  Twp months ago today.  Here are some random thoughts about my little babe.

(opps!  If you are re-reading this you will see that Willow last living dater is a month earlier than I said.  How time flies!)

Everything in this house reminds me of Willow.

Willow effected our living habits and routines very much so.  We are going through a readjustment period now.

For instance, when I pick up the barber tools she yipped with joy.  She loved for Anna to cut my hair.  While I was being barbered on the deck, Willow would run back and forth up the stairs.   Go down to the ground and sniff around and then come up and check  too see what we are doing and go back downstairs.   No more.

When we went to Costco we all ways bought a roasted chicken for $4.99 and when we got home Anna would strip the chicken and the Willow-Edible. not edible-to-us parts was put into a canister and mixed with her dog food for the next few days

When we first adopted Willow she was about one year old.  Our back yard was crowded with furry little animals such as chipmunks, squirrels, and rabbits.  She ate them all.  After so many years the furry little vermin learned not to get close to our back yard.   What they did not know that Willow has aged in the past couple of years and now she was feeble and blind.  She still enjoyed the outdoors but prefer to go out when I could go out and bodyguard her.



Also when we first adopted her at the Atlanta Humane Society one of the volunteers told us she has been returned twice.  She sort of insinuated that 3 times and she  is out.

I think that is because about a year ago, at night, in the dark, I took her for last bathroom walk  for the night and a big dog came up out of the dark and tried to get her to play.  Willow snapped at it.  I'm sure her point of view was that she was blind and she was too old to play.  Then the big dog leap on her growling and snapping.  And I jumped on the dog growling and swinging fists.  I hit the dog in his face several good knocks and finally it ran off.

When we first adopted Willow she was a runner.  and very lively and full of energy.   Anytime the gate was left opened she would run free.  I could not catch her.  I just had to sit down and wait until she smelled everything in every yard near by and disappear for a while.   When she got good and damn ready she returned on her own.  My only fear with her running across yards and streets is that I didn't think she was that wise on how traffic operated.... like could run over her and smash her.

I think Willow was an excellent human body-language reader.  If we were discussing whether to go someplace or stay there she would get in a position where her view point she could see both of us and our interactions and facial expressions.  Sometimes She knew what we would decide what we were going to do before we did.  If she came to the conclusion we were leaving she would walk back to her sleeping area.  Sometimes if it was "iffy" and we "might include her, she would whine and do her little dance.

If she saw that one of us was upset or hurt physically she would lick us, in the wounded spot and console us.  I think sometimes she knew her saliva had a healing ensign.



Once before daylight she and I was running.  She was wearing he leash.  I tripped on a little blue embedded road mark and fell with a smack.  My hand, leg, and face was bleeding.  When I hit the pavement I think I let go of the leash.  Normally, that would be an excellent time for her to take off running.  But she stayed by me, trembling.  After I calmed her down she started licking me with her medicine.

In her last six months when I took her out for a bathroom use I had to help her down and up our steps going to the back yard.

After she died for weeks the little furry critters still stayed away.  Then I suppose her particular smell went away and now I see chipmunks and squirrels in the yard again.

I still sense her presence in the house.  And I even hear her collar jingle, or maybe it is my imagination.


Willow was a diabetic.  We gave her two insulin shots a day.   I think she knew the shots were good for her.

She is the last of our line of hairy best friends.  I am too old to outlive another one.   We loved her and  have fond memories we will miss her deeply.

Her insulin, vet sugar level checks, boarding fees and misc now probably adds up to over two grand a year.  Financially,  Willow absence is almost like getting a raise.




Osmo's Surprised Visit




TIn the early 1950s in Indiana Uncle Osmo threw his family in the car and drove to Marietta, Ga. to see his siblings and their kids. There we are, in our front yard on Manget Street. When he came usually he started a fight among his sisters. then he left. It probably happened on this visit too. In the background look! Larry Bell Park!

Tuesday, November 19, 2019

November the 19th, Specials Days









Today, November the 19th is International Men’s Day.
November the 19th is also World Toilet Day

In researching for the appropriate illustration for this blog reminds of in the 1980s  at a Braves Game I went right in the men's restroom, did my business, and went right out, passing by a long line of ladies for the Women's Restroom.

Which also reminded me of the Peachtree Road Race.   Ones of the years I participated the race would start on Peachtree Street in the Buckhead area.  Before the race it was not unusual toe see a bush with a woman's head behind the bush like she was in a stooping position.  Then, there was a canvas wall with a sign saying MEN, WORLD'S LARGEST LATRINE.  It was in a shopping center parking lot.  The latrine was a long brick shallow brick gutter to control water flow during rain storms.  As I was using it three or four women came in together and one made the announcement, "if you don't like it?  Tough shit!"  And the women hunkered down over the latrine and did their business. 


Monday, November 18, 2019

I Like Nice Pictures

I download them And I like to share them (sometimes)



Click to make bigger and prettier.

Whiff of Your Old Stomping Grounds








The Tour of Marietta Homes, a.k.a. Marietta Pilgrimage, will probably be soon, like the first weekend of December.  But maybe not, I have not heard a word about their plans.

CORRECTION:  My friend Laura read this blog and went into action to get this right.  The Tour will be off Cherokee Street in the Forest Avenue are.  Which reminds me, my friend Archie lived in that area.  His yard was full of arrow heads.  When visiting my aunt, who lived behind him, Archie and I hunted and found arrowheads like Easter Egg Hunting.  Also, in my youth, Forest Avenue was loaded with boarding houses for single school teachers.


We went last year.  Then it was mostly up and down Church and Church Streets.

Here are some of the pictures I took on the tour  last year.  If you are from Marietta and have not been back for several years, look at these, there is nothing like getting a whiff of your old stomping grounds, especially with Christmas music in the background.