Fleecing the Poor

I am always looking for an opportunity to better my standard of living.

My basic philosophy is simple and to the point. Why should poor people keep their life savings when I could enjoy it more?

My current scheme, ahem, I mean plan are to help the people who live in poverty. They need hope. I think I can package and merchandise hope just for them…. for a price, of course.

If you live in a low income area one of your biggest fears is that without warning the police will appear at your door with a search warrant – with that warrant they can knock down your door. And once they are inside they can rip the drywalls off the walls, tear up your upholstery looking for what they suspect you are hiding.

If they don’t find anything they will probably say something polite, like “We’ll get you next time!”

And who is going to pay for all the damage they did looking for evidence not there? Probably you! I heard on TV many times of citizens that their houses were gutted by cops looking for illegal products and didn’t find any. Who is going to pay for this damage? If I understand it correctly, the law enforcement agency doesn’t have to.

I think I will start selling insurance policies to cover repairs for such police raids. Of course, premium amounts will have to be calculated on risks – the poorer the neighborhood you live in the higher the risk is of a police raid, thus the premiums will be higher.

There is only one problem that I foresee might happen. What if a person who has paid his premiums has his house raided, things are torn up, and that person files a claim?

How dare them? I earned that money, not them. How can I make a comfortable living if I give it away? I sold them hope and peace of mind and that is what they got.

Sorry, claim denied.