Friday, May 04, 2007

Magical Powers or a Curse?

The stage curtain on the stage is dark with some type of glittering material that makes it looks magical.

A round circle of light hits the curtain as it begins to open slowly. Over the speakers an unseen voice says, “Ladies and Gentlemen! “Now, for one who needs no introduction, Eddie the Magnificent!”

The curtain suddenly opens the rest of the way very quickly and Eddie the Magnificent runs, in a bouncy way, out in the center, waving at the crowd. People clap. Some people stand up and clap.

Eddie the Magnificent holds up both his hands to beg the audience to hush their raving so he may get on with the show. When it is quiet, Eddie nods his approval and steps back, raises one arm and hold out his hand. Out running gracefully his blond female assistant, which Eddie introduces her as his assistant. She shyly smiles and looks down when the people clap.

Then, the assistant, still smiling, walks away while Eddie the Magnificent talks about the mysterious magic of the Far East, of the Voodoo in Jamaica and the bayous of Louisiana, and the mountain folks and their ghostly ancestors that keep hanging around. He gives a little speech of each.

While he is speaking the lovely bashful assistant roles out a chest-of-drawers. She pulls out each drawer and shows each to be empty and taps on the floor of each drawer to prove each is solid and would not collapse.

Next, during Eddie the Magnificent’s speech she rolls out a grocery cart full of white t-shirts. She holds each shirt up to the audience to show it is a v-neck t-shirt before she carefully folds it and places it in the top drawer. There is one light blue regular neck t-shirt in the pile, which, after she shows the audience, folds it up and places it in the same drawer.

Then she does she same thing with socks. She brings in a grocery cart full of black socks, with the exception of one pair of white socks.

She politely puts her hand in front of her mouth to let out a little pleasing giggle then steps back into the darkness.

Eddie the Magnificent says, “I think my t-shirt is needs changing., you know how they get all dingy and all, I think there are some V-necks white t-shirts in the top drawer here”.

Eddie reaches in and pulls out a regular light blue t-shirt. Then another regular light blue t-shirt, then another, and another – at a quicker pace until the drawer is empty.

The audience is dumbfounded. “How did he do that?” you could hear people whispering.

The sock drawer went the same way. Eddie the Magnificent wanted a pair of black socks, which he knew were put in there, but he could only find pairs of white socks.

Then Eddie the Magnificent gave a proper speech to the audience about nutrients. He told about what is good for you and what is bad for you. He said grain, like wheat is good for you, made in its different forms, like you can buy whole wheat loaf bread, and whole wheat waffles.

While Eddie the Magnificent is giving the healthy foods speech the lovely bashful-but-polite blond assistant pushes away the chest-of-drawers and picks up all the socks and t-shirts of the stage floor and rolls them away in the grocery cart.

Eddie the Magnificent said, “Whole wheat waffles – just thinking of whole wheat waffles, I can almost taste one…” Eddie the Magnificent looks like he swooning. Somebody in the back let out a lonely horse laugh which was obviously a faux pas.

The blond assistant comes in with a plate with a waffle on it, taking very tiny dancing-like steps, like twinkle toes.

Eddie sees the waffle and lights up. Also beside the plate with the wheat high fiber waffle is a fork and a bottle of syrup.

Eddie is about to pour the syrup when the assistant runs up in her twinkle-toe way and hand Eddie a small spoon.

Eddie says, ‘Ahh yes, my love assistant doesn’t want me to put much syrup on this, this spoon full will be plenty.”

Then, Eddie the Magnificent pours syrup into the spoon and as he is bringing over to be above the waffle a drop falls on the table.

Eddie says, “Opps! I got about a drop of syrup on this table, I better wipe it up!” He says that a little too dramatic.

The lovely blond assistant hands him a wet cloth which he thanks her and wipes up the spot. He lifts up the syrup somewhat surprised – the whole cloth is oozing in syrup. He holds it above the plate as about a gallon drips from the cloth onto the plate which overflows with syrup onto the table and the over flow all over the stage floor.

Eddie the Magnificent suddenly smiles and stands up and take a bow.

The audience goes wild. The clapping! the standing ovation! Eddie is called back several times to take another bow. People are whistling and stomping their feet.

Later, in his dressing room a local reporter asked him if he would share some of his magical secrets.

Eddie shyly mumbled, “It is no trick – it is curse! I am also invisible”…. And suddenly the reporter forgets why he is in the room talking to an empty chair.



Anonymous Anonymous said...

That was a magical post.

2:57 AM  
Blogger ET said...


4:08 AM  

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