Friday, February 27, 2009

The Queens Pocketbook.


Yesterday we were Belk’s Department Store. We were in the ladies handbag department when I overheard a lady say, “this pocketbook is fit for a queen”.

It reminded me of a post I did some time ago about Queen Elizabeth wondering what she carried in her purse … a small handgun? A knife with a retractable blade – in other words a switchblade knife to intimidate her assaulter? The name of that post was "The Queen's Handbag".

If she had a gun and or a switchblade she would have need training on how to use them. With the gun she would probably go to a shooting range someplace in England but I don’t know where one would go to be trained in the art of knife fighting. I think one of the key elements of knife fighting is to intimidate your opponent… which hopefully will frighten him and he will run away, therefore avoiding the physical confrontation all together.

I think the best way to intimidate him is for the queen to bend slightly forward and nervously toss the knife from one hand to the other, have a wicked smile on her face, and hyperventilate like she will enjoy cutting him up.

I can’t quiet picture the queen of England doing that, and I bet it will take the assaulter by surprise too…. he surely to run away in fright.

And of course the pocketbook should have a disposable paper toilet seat protector just in case she has to use a messy toilet, and makeup…. Have you ever seen a queen without makeup?

And of course makeup means a mirror – maybe two mirrors, so she can hold behind her and one in front of her so she see if any unruly ruffs of hair is where she can’t see otherwise.

She also will probably need a blackberry… the world’s richest woman will surely want to be in constant communication with her subordinates… also, a camera. How can anyone go anyplace without a camera?

Also, with that gun, you never know what kind of situation she might find herself in, so a couple rounds of ammo would come in handy. Who knows? She might even need a railroad flair also.

I think maybe a back pack would be more practical can a pocketbook.

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4 Comments:

Blogger kenju said...

I bet you that all she has in there is a kleenex.

5:11 AM  
Blogger ET said...

Judy,
You are probably right. Why should she weigh her purse down when she is surrounded by assistants that can have their purses and back packs weighed down?

5:20 AM  
Blogger Si's blog said...

There was a thingy on PBS about "Royalty At Work" a couple of days ago. There was Lizzy sitting on a glorious chair, talking to her attendants, purse on her lap. They said she only has a hankerchief and a pack of cigarettes in it. Does a queen need a security blanket?

My wife told me to add those stories. she deserves credit. Also a purse carrier but she has everything in hers. Just in case. Weighs a ton.

6:03 AM  
Blogger ET said...

Si,
Sometimes I think Anna's pocketbook secretly holds our universe's block hole.... things get sucked in it and is never seen again.

6:58 AM  

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