Monday, August 18, 2014

Sheryl, The Friendly Ghost





This weekend on  Garrison Keillor 's  PRAIRIE HOME COMPANION radio  show on the GUY NOIR, PRIVATE EYE segment I was reminded of our late neighbor Sheryl.    In the segment Guy's client, a female  public relations director, was swept off her feet by the ghost of Elvis.  And poof!  she disappeared - Elvis took her away.

The  lonely lady Sheryl that lived in behind us was, one might think, taken away with the Ghost of Elvis.  Sheryl was married to an ambitious husband who stayed gone all the time tending to his businesses.  She drunk a lot and took a lot of prescribed  drugs.

Sheryl claimed that one time at Eckard's in the pharmacy department she was waiting on her prescription and Elvis walked in and leaned over and said something like, "Baby, where have you been all my life?  I am going to come back and  take you away in my Cadillac."  Then, I don't know if he left or she left or what. 

A few days later  she died of an overdose and a new Cadillac was  spotted slowly cruising the neighborhood. 

    She was dead in the house for several days before her husband or one of her two children.  She kept the house's temperature so low it slowed down her body's  decaying.

Wait!  That is not all.

Her husband sold the house.  Three owners later one night the husband was  having trouble sleeping.  He opened his eyes and a blond*  headed woman was over him rubbing his head.  It scared him and she vanished.  It happened a several other times.  She was always friendly towards the husband and avoid the wife.

The wife decided to have an Exorcist come.   She invited me and other neighbors to come over for exorcism.    The wife had healthy snacks, fruit, and tea.   It looked more like a Yuppie's tea party.   The Exorcist Priest was a Episcopalian Priestess.

The priestess had a little metallic ball on a chain that gave out some kind of holy incense.   After the social.  We listened to her pray we then followed her around the house swinging the incense ball and chanting or singing.   That is about it.

The wife told me that the night after the exorcism a dead rat was dropped on her husband face while sleeping.

And after that, no more ghostly problems.


*Sheryl was blond and was always in the same color gown the mystery spirit wore.

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