Tuesday, July 10, 2012

Kids Do The Darnest Thilngs, If They Could Only Do Facebook





I know of 3 very young uninhibited children:  2 girls and a boy, ages from 3 to 5.

I was thinking the other day if they could spell and type and belong to facebook they would have followers interested in their every step. Their facebook postings might read something like this:

Oldest girl:  Today I ran away.  I stuffed my backback and left.  I got 2 blocks away and saw a lady out in her yard.  I asked her could I live here.  The lady looked horrified.  She asked where I lived and she walked me back, only to be intercepted by Grandma.  She thanked the lady and said something was going to have to done.  I said please don't let my grandma take me.  The lady looked confused as if she wasn’t sure she should release me to my grandma or not.   Grandma grabbed my hand and yanked me.  She was maaad!
 
Little Boy:  I woke up early this morning before anybody else got up.  Me and the puppy went out in the front yard and played.  I got on my tricycle and me and puppy raced down the streets.  Several cars had to swerve to not to hit us and some slowed down or stopped.  The man (editor’s note: that’s me) walked up to the street and told me to walk with him to our front door.  He banged and banged on the door until my aunt came to the door.  She said, “What the fuck! I didn’t know he was here today!”  The man left and returned across the street.
Oldest girl:  Mama went across the street to the man who made my cousin come home and had a word with him. She said Family Services came and threatened to take me because the kids were running on the street without adult supervision.  A neighbor reported it.  The man (me) said he had considered calling several times but it wasn’t him.  Mama told him it was too.  The man said no it wasn’t, how did she figure it was him.  She said that Family Services said a neighbor called and she pointed at him and said, “And you are a neighbor.”  He said he was A neighbor not THE neighbor.  He never could convince her other wise.  She told the man to mind his own goddamn business or he would regret it, because messing with her kid is messing with her.  The man was speechless.

The 3 kids:  The man across the street told us to get out of his yard, we might get hurt with all the building equipment lying around.  Grandma and Mama don’t like that man.
Little Boy: Today my grandma took our clothes off and was about to give us a bath when I ran out the door to chase the dog. Grandma tried chasing after me and screaming. She almost had me when my sister ran out of the house also naked and ran in the other direction then she had to chase her too. Her screaming became crying, but she finally rounded us up.




Little Boy: My grandma bought me a harness with a leash to lead me around. I cried and so did she. That new method only lasted part of a day.

Youngest Girl:  Me and my brother and my cousin ran away again.  We got four blocks away and got tired and walked up to a pretty house and asked them if we could live there.  The man made us get into his truck and carried us back to the street he knew we lived on.  He saw the lady next door working in the yard and asked her if these were her children.  She said no, they live next door at their grandmother’s. The man told the lady he knew about that family and he was going to talk to spiritual leaders at Woodstock Baptist for guidance should he report them to Family Services or what.
Little Boy:  I ran away again.  My grandma chased me down with her van and almost ran over me.
Note:  It should be noted that the grandmother is recovering from a recent cancer operation and is taking treatments which leaves her very weak.  When she sees they are missing she doesn't feel like chasing after them; she gets into her van and looks for them.  Some of the neighbors mentioned seeing her chasing the children in the van and almost hitting them several times.

All 3 Kids:  The woman down at the end of the street has two dogs in the fence always barking.  One is a little lap dog and the other one is a big German Sheppard.  We decided to liberate them.  We were trying to get the gate opened when the woman came out and told us to stop.  She made us go with her to Grandma’s and the woman told on us.

One of the Girls and the Little Boy:  Today we and the puppy raced each other down the street then raced each other back, and over and over.  Only one car almost hit us.

Mother of one girl:  GET YOUR ASS BACK HERE!

Grandmother:  GET YOUR ASS BACK HERE!

Visiting Mother of two of the kids:  GET YOUR ASS BACK HERE!

Mother, upon hearing someone complain about the loud profanities:  W are loud people.

Lady calling 911 Operator:  There is a small girl running down my street alone, she does not live near here.

A few minutes later another call to a 911 Operator:  There is a little boy here who does not belong.  He is covered with poop!

Man across the Street: I went out to get in the car and saw two police cars and a couple of other strange cars parked at the house across the street. There were two other strange cars there also. I found out later all three kids went their separate ways and caused havoc and were picked up by the law. The other cars there were from Family Protective Services.



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1 Comments:

Anonymous Anonymous said...

Don't think I could ever live in a regular neighborhood after 7 1/2 years in a 55 & over neighborhood. There are kids occasionally, but nothing like the above.

Mike

7:35 AM  

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