Coupons!

Dear Prince William – I mean Duke.*

*Every time I think of the title Duke I think of John Wayne’s tough character.

I’m sorry I didn’t watch all your wedding the other morning.

I hope you and your lovely bride, Lady Kate or Lady Catherine or the Dutchess (I’m sure there is a protocol as to what to call her) have a long and happy life together.

Also, I just want to let you know I appreciate it that you-two decided not to have domestic servants. I thought that was very impressive.

I was racking my brain for what to give you for a wedding present. I would imagine you have everything you could possible need, so any materialistic thing I could give you chances are you would just have to carry it back to the department store, take a number and stand in line.

Then I thought, a great wedding gift is advice! Wise advice is invaluable! Money can’t buy wise advice.

I gave some thought what kind of wise advice that you may not know about and I got it!

Coupons!

Collect coupons. I suggest them to either sort them per aisle in the market or according to type, like cereal, bread, meats, paper products, and well you get the idea.

Since you will not have servants you will have to do your own shopping and if people see you flip through your coupon box they will be impressed that the future king is a frugal man.

With coupons you can probably get a free dinner many times. If you use the kind of coupon that offer one dinner free if you buy one at equal or more value. And, remember Burger King has two Whoppers for the price on one on Wednesdays. And also Arby’s cash receipt has a toll free number you can call and comment or complain on your meal and get another free sandwich for your troubles. I found out the hard way you can only call once a month.

And I’m thanking you in advance for your thank you note, your highness. (do I curtsy now?) but really, no thanks is needed. Just giving sound advice to the future king of Great Britain is enough award for me.

Remember, Coupons!

Sincerely,

Edwin Tyson Hunter, Jr.