Shanghi-ing For Fun and Profit

The cruise is not many days away. I was thinking of all the countless amount of people that will be there to try to make us comfortable…. For a price, of course.

Why should they be the only ones making a buck off this? I would like a cut too!

I have plan: What do you think the most important commodity of a cruise ship is? Polished people! Suave people, debonair people, ladies and gentlemanly kind of people.

I read someplace that the definition of a gentleman or lady is a person that goes out of their way making you feel comfortable without you realizing it.

I think I will go in the cruise ship staffing agency business. I will be recruiting only the polished and sophisticated with a touch of gentleman or lady-like qualities – and being able to make animals shapes out of clean towels would be nice too.

So, where do I find such people? The people I would want to recruit are probably educated and hold a high position in the company they work for so they would unlikely want to change jobs. So, how do I convince these people to come over and work for tips for the cruise lines?

Simple! Happy Hour! Our ship leaves from the Cocoa Beach Area. That is near Cape Canaveral. I’m sure there are probably some astronauts that live in the area. And there are schools near by. I’m sure this upper crust congregate at a common water hole for happy hour and talk about their golf scores and the time they orbited the Earth or floated out in space… there are plenty of tales to tell, and Happy Hour would be the right setting.

All I have to do is keep encouraging the tales to be told, which will encourage the drinking. And, in due time they will get up and stagger out the door to go home and sleep it off. I will have a van out front with the back doors opened to throw them in.

And they would be so gentlemanly-like they would not complain thinking it might make me uncomfortable.

I think I am going to ask the captain about $100 a person. At least that should pay for the cruise.