Dainty Eating Contest

Several years ago, in nearby Kennesaw we found a restaurant we really enjoyed. They specialized in oysters and shrimp. They had big juicy delicious jumbo shrimp that was cooked in a light batter.

It was owned and ran by a bunch of Koreans - I guess one big extended family. I think every time we have been there at least six Koreans workers very synchronized performed what needed to be done with exact timing. Hardly any of them spoke English.

Usually they had an Asian waitress who could speak broken English and a Caucasian waitress that I called the official Red Neck Translator.

The restaurant, a converted Waffle House, for some reason, attract red necks. If we went on Saturday evenings people had on their dancing clothes ready to go out on the town – and on weekdays most of the people were blue collar workers.

We enjoyed eating there and so did Anna’s mother. We took her with us whenever we knew in advance we had plans of going there. Sometimes, we just ended up there without planning. And sometimes by inviting Anna’s mother we would be inviting Anna’s by default.

One time, I think the first time we took the two ladies with us, I ordered my usual dozen jumbo shrimp and Mary ordered 6. I gobbled mine up quickly, just in time to sit and twiddle my thumbs while watching the aunt delicately eat her remaining 4.

The next time we went with the two ladies I cut my order down to 6 and ate slower. The aunt still outlasted me.

The next time I ordered 6 again and this time had a plan. I would casually watch her eat. For every two bites she would eat, I would eat one. In between her bites I would play with the coleslaw or my Diet Coke can, or go to the rest room.

I don’t know how she pulled it off, but she beat me again. It came to the point where I had one bite of shrimp left and she had two whole shrimps. I gave up and chomped down on my last bite and watch her slowly eat the remaining two. She beat me again.

I think her game plan is that she takes smaller bites.... itsy bitsey bites.

I did not know how I was going to deal with her next time – what game plan I could come up with… it seems she could slam-dunk me with one hand tied behind her back..

Wait! Maybe that is it! Maybe if I tie one hand behind my back – maybe that will work.

I was saved by getting whipped again. The restaurant closed with a sign out front saying closed for improvements or something like that. Then the bulldozers came, flattened the building and hauled off the rubble, all but the sign, which they put on a lone sign post which is now in a vacant bare dirt vacant lot.