The CEO Addresses the Executive Board

Lady and Gentlemen. Thank you for coming to this executive board meeting on such a short notice. I appreciate your sacrifice. John, I know you were in West Palm Beach at the annual golfing tournament you always attend and William I know you were spending quality time with your son, teaching him how to manage the hired help on your yacht. Well, this shouldn’t take too long, there are just some things that need to be said face to face.

First of all, I want to go on record and I hope you fine patriotic people will agree, that this “sharing the wealth” business is a bunch of crap. It is plain and simple socialism and communism all rolled into one package. I hope you back me on that.

Secondly, with times hard like they have been lately, we are letting some of our mortgagees slide by without paying what they owe us on a regular basis. Not having a job is not our problem. If they fail to pay the payments, out they go, plain and simple.

Thirdly good old Uncle Sam has just bailed us so our company and we will keep on being a productive force in the business community as we have been. Old Uncle Sam sent us a huge check to keep us afloat.

Before we disperse this money we must do the patriotic thing and give ourselves bonuses so that we may continue to do our duty and let our spending trickle down to the working classes. It is the right thing to do, to keep this company afloat, by God.

We need to decide how much our bonuses will be for making such a sacrifice for the working classed…. Say, me as CEO, 25 million, the vice CEO 20 million, and the rest of you between 15 and 10 million, according to your ranking in the company.

Now that is settled, we will adjourn the meeting, but before we do, remember, this “sharing the wealth” with the commoners is just bad for this county.