The Happy Hollow Pet Rescue Agency

a one act play

Volunteer: Hello! Welcome to the Happy Hollow Rescue Agency. How may I help you?

ETH: Well, I was looking for a dog.

Volunteer: What kind of dog sir?

ETH: Oh, maybe something feisty and quick. You know what I mean?

Volunteer: I think so sir. You want one to exercise with you!

ETH: Exercise? Er-yeah, that is right. To exercise.

Volunteer: Did you want a long hair or short hair?

ETH: I think a short hair would work out better to er – er – exercise.

Volunteer: And of course you don’t want a dog that would shed much would you?

ETH: It doesn’t matter, who cares? Right?

Volunteer: Did you have any breed in mind sir?

ETH: I heard some good things about Pitt Bulls.

Volunteer: Sir!! Some states outlaw Pitt Bulls! They can be dangerous if not properly trained. I don’t think you want a Pitt Bull – maybe a cute miniature poodle.

ETH: Poodle? Good God! I want a Pitt Bull!!! … you better give me two, in case they have tag-team matches or something... or if I need a spare... yuk yuk.

Volunteer: Sir! I think you are wanting to buy some pit bulls for dog fighting. I cannot adopt you a dog for that reason – it would be unethical.

ETH: Ok, ok, oh by the way, you don’t have any roosters that need rescuing do you?

Curtain falls.