HAL The Cashier And I

I have an electric razor I bought about a year ago. The instructions say you are supposed to change the three little round shaver heads once a year. It was time.

I shopped around at the various drugstores, Bed, Bath, & Beyond, Linen & Things, the discount stores and discovered it was not an easy task to go buy a certain model head. There are too many models.

Finally, I found what I was looking for at the new Super Wal-Mart. I took it to the long row of cashier counters and picked one that was called "Self-Checking Out" or something similar. I walked up to the screen and the first question, which was already waiting on me was "English" or "Spanish". I chose "English". Then it blinked its lights, and changed screens, it was ready to get down to business.

Then suddenly, it interrupted itself and told me I had put something into the plastic bags already. I almost told it, "No I didn't!"

I just stood there, not sure what to do next, I couldn't remove something from the bags that was not there, although, I do admit, I pretended to - I rattled a plastic bag but it continued telling me something was in the plastic bag.

Then it got fed up with my side-stepping ways and its light high up on a rod begin to flash one and off. It was blowing its whistle. A lady, who carried herself like she might be the head cashier came by and before I had a chance to explain my side of the story slapped a button and the computer calmed down and told me to proceed with my next item, which I did. And that was all, I put it into the sack, completed the sales by paying for it. She probably already knew this particular electronic cashier was a little too fussy.

Then, thinking all was OK, I had my product, my receipt, so I proceeded to the exit door. Then, at the exit door, as I passed through two goal posts looking things the store's alarm went off. I bet at that very moment the electronic cashier was chuckling to itself.

The official lady at the door opened my package, checked my receipt and sent me on my way.